


Mayerling to Edelweiss

by Mercury_213 (KhameirSarin22)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teachers, Autism, Depression, Eventual Smut, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Graphic Description, History Teacher Erwin Smith, Janitor Levi Ackerman, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Slow Burn, Teacher Erwin Smith, eruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:27:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29674200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KhameirSarin22/pseuds/Mercury_213
Summary: Erwin Smith is a German history teacher working in an international school in the Netherlands. In the midst of the pandemic, he finds comfort in an online companion. But as time progresses, it becomes clear that his emotions may need more than just a word of kindness online.Eventual ErwinxLevi, may contain more ships but the focus is on them.Warnings! Graphic depiction of mental illness, depictions of death from side-characters, graphic smut.Written using personal experiences.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith
Kudos: 7





	Mayerling to Edelweiss

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to let the reader know that a lot of the experiences described in this fan fiction are my personal experiences with my mental illnesses and my life as a teacher. I use the writing of this work as an outlet for my own emotions and as a coping mechanism. As a person living with adhd, ocd and autism, (and the occasional sweeping depression) I felt like I needed to express what it can be like through an AU idea I had been sitting on for a while. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this work and would like to thank you for taking the time to read it.

**Mayerling1977:** ‘Is this what everyone else is doing, too? Staring out of the window without a purpose of a real clear thought? Maybe just a lot of thoughts all at once. . . Too many to process and filter. It could be just me, perhaps it is something we all do now and then, but I feel like I’ve been doing it a lot lately. Sometimes, I’ll sit at the window for hours and watch the sun swing around my house until it’s dark and by the end of it, the day is over and I haven’t done a single thing.”  
 ****

 **Edelweiss1986:** ‘I don’t think you’re alone in this. Sometimes I don’t do anything all day and regret it while I’m doing it. I’ll get stuff done around the house but that’s it. Maybe do something, distract yourself?’  
 ****

 **Mayerling1977:** ‘This has become my distraction :)’  
 ****

 **Edelweiss1986:** ‘Not a healthy coping mechanism tho. Read a book? Didn’t you buy one recently?’  
 ****

 **Mayerling1976:** ‘Ah, yes. You’re right. I forgot about that. I told you about it?’  
 ****

 **Edelweiss1986:** ‘You basically tell me about everything. Go read it. I need to work. See you later. Take care of yourself. Drink some water.’  
 ****

 **Mayerling1977:** ‘I will. Thank you, good luck at work.’  
 ****

 **Edelweiss1986:** ‘Thanks. Bye.’

**-Edelweiss1986 is offline-**

"Working?" Erwin groaned, balancing his laptop on his lap as he turned to see the alarm clock. It was half-past 4 in the morning, the sky was already starting to light up a little bit and he was sure he could hear a bird sing in the distance. Spring wasn’t announcing itself, it was just knocking down the door and coming in without much of a warning this year. What a strange year it had been so far, too. First the lockdown and now all of this. They were still partially in what the government called ‘an intelligent lockdown’ but the secondary schools were slowly opening up again for the exam-year students. To think this all started almost a year ago. . . And here they were, not a single step closer to having a normal life again. He chuckled bitterly to himself and shook his head before turning back to his laptop to open a notepad.

_-Ask Edelweiss what he thinks about the virus. Real, or hoax?_

“Maybe you should get some sleep old man,” tomorrow would go fine. Even if he hadn’t written his lesson preparation form, he’d manage. He’d been in the business long enough. Most of his colleagues chuckled with disbelief whenever they’d catch a glimpse of him writing away on his paper forms and scoff a ‘You still work with those? Jesus, that was the first thing I dropped when I started working!’  
True, it was tedious to write out every step of the way. ‘What are the goals of this lesson? What are students able to do after this lesson? What have they learned during this lesson?’ But for some reason, Erwin felt like a soldier without a gun whenever he taught without them. It wasn’t so much that he couldn’t come to class without it, he just liked the reassurance of knowing what it was he’d teach, what the desired outcome would be, and what back-up plans he’d have should something go wrong- like a beamer or smartboard malfunctioning. . . He pinched the bridge of his nose and yawned loudly, making his ears open with a soft 'pop'. Shaking his head didn't help to chase the tiredness out either, but whenever he closed his eyes they simply didn't feel 'tired' enough. It was going to be one of those nights then. Glasses back on, might as well go downstairs and do something useful. But first, coffee.

-

The building was eerily quiet, almost like arriving too early on any other given day- but different nonetheless. The silence was welcomed after the night he had had yesterday.

"Erwin! Good morning old bastard!" Here's the thing about being a teacher, no matter what time you come in, there will always be that one colleague that recognizes you and calls out to you. Whether you've had your first cup of joe or not, they will call out to you. Always. Most of the time, teachers greet one another silently; a quick nod, a smile, a wave- but with everything that had happened over the past year, contact had limited itself to either teaching in an empty classroom by oneself, or from the comforts of home. In Erwin's case, initially, it had been the first option. The schools had been closed around the 18th of March 2020 for all students. Teachers, however, still came in and taught their classes through Microsoft teams. Where once the idea of 'digitalized education' had been but a 'future dream' and impossible to achieve, it had now become a fact within less than a week. Erwin had his opinions about the process and the unfairness of it but had chosen not to express them in front of his weary colleagues. The pandemic was already enough weight on their – and his – shoulders, a battle of wits and opinions was not a welcomed one now.

“Are you gonna say something back or are you gonna ignore me?” Wherever he had come from, Erwin did not know. He had expected him to be sitting somewhere in the teacher’s lounge, but he came up from behind like a ghost and clapped his hands on Erwin’s shoulders.

“I’m sorry, I was lost in thought there for a moment. Good to see you again, Mike,” the other smirked beneath his facemask. Corona hadn't taken much of a toll on Mike's physique in general. Nanaba and he were avid joggers and would often drag Erwin along during the younger years. He hadn't changed much over the year, except for a grey here peaking through the shaggy dirt blond of his hair. Erwin felt conscious about how tight his shirt had gotten confronted with the sight of his good friend.

“Looking stylish with that muzzle on, good look,” Erwin casually took his own from his inner pocket and began to work it over his ears before the janitor caught sight of it. It was mandated to wear one, but since the second half of the lockdown, when the schools closed for everyone, Erwin had gotten so used to not going out that he had gotten a bit careless with the rules. In the meantime, Mike posed his new facemask, a bright blue one with a small print Erwin couldn't decipher this time.

“Like it? The missus gave it to me, said that maybe it’d help me remember to actually bring it. I swear, Erwin, I keep forgetting it and end up having to drive home from the grocery store every single time. It's not that long of a drive but the gas, you know? Now that we can't cross the border to fill 'em up," Erwin smiled sympathetically and shrugged.

“I'll tell you, Mike, sometimes I feel like this whole lockdown is a farce. They just do as they please. They contradict themselves. The curfew, too. It’s all about the elections Mike. That reminds me- could you send me the assessment sheets for the exams? They were posted in ILearn but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to download them to PDF and then convert them”.

"You got that right but don’t say it too loudly, my wife will have me by the balls if she hears me. Like this mask- she made it herself you know- this mask, too, it's nice right? But yeah the elections- no I’ll send ‘em to you in a bit,” Mike checked his watch as he rubbed an apple against his shirt, “-in fact, I’ll get them for you right now. I'm still working on the practice exams with the kids anyway. I swear Erwin, these kids will be the fucking end of me. Got half the year off and still don’t do shit,” Mike gave him another friendly slap on the arm before walking over to the room opposite the teacher lounge.

So that’s where he had come from.

"Thanks, Mike, I knew I could count on you. I might come in during the third period, you still working there then?" He called, one hand already resting on the doorframe to the lounge. Mike answered with a thumbs up, munching on his apple, before entering the workroom. They had two rooms reserved for the teachers to use, the usual teacher lounge for either working, conversing, and lunch- and the computer room, more commonly known as 'the silent room', reserved for working and important calls and talks. The lounge was relatively quiet, but Erwin had expected such. The janitor was still restocking the tea and the coffee machine when he came in. Mike and he had always been the early birds.

“Good morning mister Ackerman, I see you’re working hard again,” Erwin called out decently, not expecting a reply. The janitor was a bit of an odd one but he was the go-to man if you had any problems. The name ‘Ackerman’ had become a disciplinary measure in the classrooms if students acted out of line and it worked without missing a beat. When Erwin didn't receive an answer, he looked over to glance at the man. He'd always been a quiet one, but usually, he'd at least say something. He respected the man's boundaries and didn't press. Instead, he got settled in at one of the tables and carefully tried to assess how far along the other was with his work. He was dying for a cup of coffee. . . Sneakily, he turned around to peek at the janitor, who was just bending over to grab something, but reached the conclusion he would have to accept the fact that it might take a while until he'd get to the machines. Erwin huffed silently in disappointment and opened his laptop to get to work on the last preparations for today.

Most days, whenever Erwin worked, he'd at least feel a sense of purpose. He'd know what he would do during his class, make a length preparation with engaging materials and fun side-notes and even the occasional fun quiz (Cooties? Hooties? Kahows? Something like that.) But as of late, he'd notice how regardless of what he was doing, he'd slowly zone out, stare at nothing- or stare outside at the clouds. . . People daydreamed all the time, he wondered what it was they thought of- and whether their thoughts were just as somber and hopeless as his. He wasn't always like this, the contrary. As a child, he had been full of dreams and excitement, even as a young adult- but lately, it seemed like nothing could touch him. As if he had been captured in a large glass ball with everything that made him feel bad- while everything he liked was just outside of his reach. The corona situation wasn’t helping either. Usually, he’d go for long walks in the fields, drive to Epen, a touristic village in the south part of the Netherlands, and just feel something. But now that all of these simple joys were also prohibited, Erwin couldn’t escape the thoughts anymore, nor the feelings. He wondered how much longer this was to go on, how much more he could take actually. It was already nearing the end of February, the year had only just begun last week and next week it’d be March already. 2021 seemed to go even faster than 2020.

“Time to do something Erwin,” he murmured to himself and turned back to the laptop. As he reached for his pen bag, his hand almost pushed against a cup of steaming hot coffee that had not been there beside his laptop earlier. Erwin blinked in confusion. Coffee? He hadn’t made coffee- he was just throwing secret glances at the janitor for an opportunity to get to the- Then how?

“It’s wiener melange, that's what you always drink, right?” Erwin was flabbergasted. He had never really interacted with Ackerman, to be honest, he wasn’t even sure they had ever really talked before. Most of the teachers rarely ever talked to him, only to complain about something or to ask his assistance. Come to think of it, embarrassingly enough, Erwin wasn't sure what the man's first name even was. If he'd glance at his badge now he'd be busted.

“No, no. It’s perfect. You're right, that's what I always drink in the morning,” he wanted to ask how the man knew, but didn’t. He hadn’t even seen him or hear him put the cup on the table. Scary. This was the first time he was interacting with Ackerman, he had already repeated that thought in his head but it kept reoccurring for some reason. After all these years here at school, this was the first time he was _really_ talking to him. He gave the man a good look and smiled, taking in as many details as he could from a simple look. Another thing he had been doing, completely drifting off during conversations.

"You still there?"

"Oh- I'm sorry, I was gone there for a second," Erwin offered a smile and took a sip after moving his mask up a little- which must have looked silly. It tasted a lot better than usual. "Do you have a moment? Why don't you sit down for a second? I'm sure you could use a break,"

for a minute, Erwin felt nervous as he watched the other.

Ackerman seemed to roll the thought in his head for a moment before walking over to the sink next to the coffee machines and the tea. Erwin thought he’d just continue with his work because it took him quite a while there, but as he was about to give up on the idea and open his laptop, the janitor returned, much to his delight. He must have taken his gloves off or something.

“It’s Levi”. It was hard to understand him sometimes, he had a bit of a deep but slightly nasal voice- and when he spoke, it was hard to hear him somehow, no matter how loudly he spoke.

“I’m sorry?” Erwin had almost tried to drink with his mask on. He took it off completely to do so. It was a hassle anyway.

“My name, it’s Levi,” Levi leaned his arm on the back of the chair and crossed his legs as he observed Erwin. His nose was scrunched up as he watched him. Whatever it was the janitor was thinking, it made Erwin feel somewhat exposed and nervous.

“Oh- well, we’ve been working together so long, it would be embarrassing if I didn’t know your name, now wouldn’t it?” Erwin tried to joke, hoping it would hide the fact that he indeed didn’t know Levi's name before this conversation. "What made you think I didn't know your name?"

He was on to him. Why else would Levi tell him this now? It was too specific and too well-timed. He moved his mask back in place after seeing the way the other stared at his mouth with that glare in his eyes. Although Erwin wasn’t sure about what the man’s expression was, since he was wearing a mask too, he felt a bit on edge about unmasking in front of him. Teachers were tested, sure, but there were still those here who either neglected their masks- bad, but he was guilty of this too sometimes- and those who were quite fierce about not seeing a mask. He knew from experience that Levi was very keen on the mask rule. Rumor had it that he even wore one before the pandemic.

“You only ever use my surname,” Levi replied. Erwin frowned at this.

“Well, I never use first names in front of the students,” he retorted smoothly.

“You don’t do that with Mike and the others,” had he? Erwin hadn’t noticed he did until now. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and stretched a little to release the tension that had been building up in his muscles. He felt like a mischievous kid being reprimanded by their parent.

“I’m sorry, Levi. I promise to do so now. I never meant to be impersonal towards you,” Levi didn’t seem to be that struck by it. But then again, it was hard for Erwin to decipher his expressions. There was a calculating look in the man’s eyes that unnerved Erwin.

“It’s alright. I think half of the staff here don’t even know that I exist until I have to come and help wipe their asses for them," Erwin couldn't help but chuckle at that. The way Levi spoke, the intonation of it, and the empty glare in his eyes somehow made it funny.

"I think most teachers are too caught up with their own work to see what happens backstage, though I think some more decency and appreciation for your work wouldn't be too hard to muster for them," Levi shrugged at this with his eyes closed and eyebrows raised.

“I suppose so. Well. I don’t know what your plan is but I’ve got some more work to do. Exams start next week and I need to make sure all the smart boards are functioning,” Erwin nodded and smiled beneath his mask.

“Good luck with that sir- wait, don’t we have ICT for that?”

Levi turned around to scoff and pocket an item Erwin wasn't able to recognize but judging the way Levi rubbed his hands together he assumed it had been hand sanitizer.

“You’d think. No, they do their thing and I just check if everything works. If not, I call them in. Good luck with your lessons mister Smith,” and with that, Erwin watched the man pick up his gloves and walk off.

“You too, Levi,” he murmured more to himself than the other. Erwin smiled to himself, removed his mask, and sipped his coffee with a satisfied hum he opened PowerPoint and prepared the last few slides for his lesson.

-

Teaching wasn't the same this way. Usually, a teacher would bond with students over small things, giving compliments or noticing something new- sometimes, especially as a man- one had to be careful as to what was considered 'cool' and what was considered 'cringy' among the youths these days. When Erwin had only just begun teaching, it was fine to say a girl was wearing a pretty sweater. Try that now, and it wouldn't be unlikely to receive a warning for inappropriate behavior. It was a difficult balance to maintain, the distance. But over the years, he had gotten the hang of it. With the pandemic, things had become a little bit different.

“Eren, you know the rules, mask on please,” he didn’t have to look up to know Eren wasn’t wearing his. Most of the kids simply followed the rules without complaining, but there were a few who’d comment about it or try to fight the ‘authority’ on it.

“Don’t you think it’s ridiculous they’re forcing this on us?” Eren muttered sourly. Erwin shrugged at this. He and Mike weren’t exactly the most obedient citizens when it came to this either, but rules were rules.

“It’s for a reason Eren-“ Erwin couldn’t even finish his sentence, “-Do you really think the virus is real sir? You always talk about how the past is never recorded accurately- how conspiracies can have a truth to them. Who says there actually is a virus?” Lockdown must have really been tough on the kids, Eren had always been an obedient and quiet pupil- a burst here and there but nothing out of the ordinary with boys. Then again, he was sixteen now. Maybe Erwin had filled his head with one conspiracy too many during class.

"Whether I believe in the virus or not has no added value to this conversation Eren. If something as small as wearing a mask can potentially prevent others from getting sick or facing a fate worse than that, I think it is worth it. Don't you agree? Or should we ask Mister Ackerman what he thinks about this matter?" That worked. A little twitch in those green eyes was enough to know the battle was won. Eren murmured to himself as he sat down beside Mikasa and put the mask on.

“Now, I understand that the situation isn’t exactly what we are used to, but I intend to make the best of it and make it feel as normal as possible. However, I do have to make up for lost time so I’d like you all to try your hardest to keep up with the pace. Please come to me if you need more help or if something isn’t clear. Understood? Then we will continue where we left off with the online classes,”

Having to teach physically felt strange after the past months. The way it felt like having to teach a class after a substitute or trainee took over and not exactly knowing how to pick up after them.

"Now, on teams, we had a discussion board about media during the Vietnam war and what its contribution was to the reception of American soldiers after the war. Armin had made some excellent statements in his presentation last week, but I would like to go over some of the key points we went over. After that, I'd like you all to take out your hand-outs and 'examen-training' book. We'll be needing both for today.“

-

It went fine. Having years of experience makes it easier, but it most certainly was new to him. As usual, the day went by fast, with two physical classes and five on Microsoft teams. Mike had come to firstly scold him for not visiting during the third period as Erwin had promised earlier, and to bring the assessment rubrics as promised during the fifth period. Naturally, he had stayed to entertain Erwin as he taught his online class, making faces and acting absurdly behind his laptop in an attempt to embarrass him again in front of his students, but was sorely disappointed when he received nothing but an ice-cold glare whenever he looked up. Although it was helpful to be out of the house again and be among his friends to gain some sense of normalcy, it felt strange. Something about it still felt off- like someone had taken a character from a science fiction film and placed him in an old western.

The best way he could describe it was feeling fragmented. As if what he felt and what he was experiencing wasn’t exactly what was happening. He'd realize he had been staring at a student for a good while and would feel awkward about how nervous they'd look back at him. Armin and Eren had been the victim of it this time. It had been easier on Microsoft teams after all. He'd look back up and stare out of the window as the class worked in silence. Somehow, they, too, felt something was off about their teacher. Or maybe they were just tired from the past year as well. The trees were still bare and the sky, despite being blue, had a cold hue to it that showed it was almost March- while the temperatures could have easily made it pass for April. Maybe things would be a little better in Spring. Maybe they’d loosen the leash around everyone’s throats and allow more again. Which reminded him of something.

 **Mayerling1977:** Strange question, I just had to think of it. What do you think about the pandemic?

**-Edelweiss1986 is offline-**

“Oh-“ The soft, almost hoarse whisper made Erwin return to reality to find Levi at the door. “Didn’t think you’d still be in here.”

Erwin smiled at this. “What made you think that?” He clicked the chatbox away before the other could see it.

“It’s almost six, I wanted to do one last sweep-" "Six!" Erwin repeated, almost spraining his back as he turned around in his chair to see the clock overhead- then checked his wristwatch and huffed incredulously.

“I hadn’t even realized. I’m sorry- I’ll clear up for you,” “- Stay, I’ll work around you.” Levi didn’t waste time waiting for an answer to that either. Erwin couldn’t help but watch him as he worked. Usually, schools had a cleaning team who’d clean, theirs had one too, but Levi always did an extra round to make sure everything was spotless. Come to think of it, he had never seen the cleaners, just Levi.

“How was your day?” Erwin felt uncomfortable remaining silent. Just sitting down while the other was working made him feel a bit uneasy.

“Same old same old. Nice and quiet now. Keeps everything a lot cleaner like this. Yours?” Erwin smiled.

"It was different, being back. I'd like to say it's quieter but it isn't. I would rather have everyone back," Levi didn't look at him as he worked.

“Mhm,” A silence followed, one Erwin wanted to break.

“Do you- always work this late?”

“Normal times for me. I don’t work Wednesdays though, to balance the hours out,” Levi groaned as he bent over to pick up what looked like a ball of crumpled paper. Erwin felt mortified, he hadn’t even seen it until now and felt bad for not having checked the room earlier. Usually, he'd have scolded his students for littering.

“I see. I work every day, but Wednesday is my half-day, I finish at 11.30 then,” Erwin shut his laptop and watched the other man more intently. It was strange to spend time with Levi like this, even if it was still distant. He had always been such an enigma to him, but now it was as if he had been given an opportunity to peek behind the curtains.

“Well, I will leave you to it then, Levi. I should probably be on my way. Take care of yourself.” Levi only nodded in reply, even when Erwin lingered for a moment. What an awkward exchange. He shook his head as he left the room. But as he reached the elevator half-way through the hallway, something made him go back.

“Oh- and Levi?” he waited until the man looked up and met his eyes. “Thank you, for this morning. The coffee. It was exactly what I needed,” he watched the other nod in response.

“No problem,” Levi replied and continued his work. Erwin left with a remnant of a smile on his face. He went downstairs to check his mailbox and whether Mike was still around but found that he was the only one left. As he checked his phone, he found that Mike had even texted him. He must have missed it- he'd apologize tomorrow. Erwin sighed as he got ready to leave.

-

Whatever distraction he had felt at work had left the moment he came home. Driving home with a good cd had helped, but now that he closed the doors behind him again, he felt the familiar pressure on his chest. No matter how fun a day could have been, or eventful, the moment the door shut behind him, it was back to zero. Erwin had always had slight bouts of feeling down or feeling aware of his emotions more than usual, but the way he felt now was different from that. He felt sorrow, he felt sadness- but on top of that, like some sort of strange mask- he felt the crushing weight of nothing. His smiles felt empty, his laughs fake, everything he did felt like an act. The year had been a rollercoaster for everyone and it almost felt offensive to dwell so much on these emotions while others had so much worse to endure. Erwin dropped his coat on the stairs in the hallway, his bag on the ground, and went straight for the bathroom. After a day like this, the empty ones, all he wanted was to take a shower- then a bath, listen to music if he could bring himself to it, and then sleep. Dinner be damned. He couldn't even remember the last time he cooked anyway. He didn’t waste a lot of time on his shower and went to lie down in bed as he let the bath fill up. A spark of hope filled him as he heard his phone buzz, but it was another NOS news article pop up. 'Avondklok wordt verlengd, winkels gaan wel-' he switched to Spotify instead and pressed the first playlist he could find. Armin had helped him install the app, saying that 'It basically carries all of your CDs, tapes, and records on it sir!' He barely used it and whatever it was he had stored on it had been made with Armin's help, after all, the little techwiz.

"Hmpf, Löhengrin," Now that would promise a nice and relaxing bath. Empty the mind and drift away with Wagner, maybe even fantasize about the lockdown being over and finally returning to that majestic castle in Füssen. It had already been two years since they went there, Mike and Nanaba and Hange and Mobolit. Couples retreat. Erwin hadn't felt like a fifth wheel at all, he had been the one doing all the talking and planning. It was exactly in his line of work after all. They would have gone to Austria this year. Now that was something he had been very excited about, learning more about crown-prince Rudolf. Ludwig the second was fascinating but he had already turned it inside out when he was a child, his more recent interest lied in his family in the neighboring country. He'd spend hours reading up on different aspects of history until he had lost interest or until there was nothing left to consume about it. A history nut, just like his father. He wondered what his father would think about seeing his son just as obsessed with history as himself. He hoped he was proud. Erwin sank underwater before he could admit the wetness rolling down his face was from anything other than his hair.

The water had turned cold and his phone requested he’d use his password rather than ‘use fingerprint to unlock phone’ after rejecting his thumb and index finger thrice. He didn’t feel like anything other than going to bed. He snatched a white t-shirt, one that was apparently getting a little small, and a pair of slacks and dropped himself in bed. His book was left untouched on his nightstand and was only noticed due to its bright blue color and white lettering reading 'Rudolf Kronprinz und Rebell'. He stared out of the window for a moment before turning the music off. His heart skipped a beat.  
 ****

**Edelweiss1986 is online**

With bated breath, he watched the triple periods move and move until finally, a reply appeared on his screen. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears.

 **Edelweiss1986:** Good day to you too. It sucks. No other way around it. Wish people could just get their heads out of their own asses and help get this all over with.

Erwin’s breathing grew labored as he typed his reply hastily, but his fingers were still filled with moisture, making the process that much more time-consuming.

 **Mayerling1977:** I see. I do wonder about it sometimes. The Virus that is. But I do agree we should all contribute to eradicating it.  
 ****

 **Edelweiss1986:** There is nothing to wonder. Did you read?

“Typically you, Edelweiss,” he chuckled softly to himself as he rolled over on his stomach and took his reading glasses from his nightstand.

 **Mayerling1977:** Not yet, work was busy. I’m glad I’m talking to you. How was your work?  
 ****

 **Edelweiss1986:** Long. Finally home. Just had some dinner. In bath now. Yours?  
 ****

 **Mayerling1977:** Was alright. Glad to see everyone again. Just took a bath too. I might go read a little.  
 ****

 **Edelweiss1986:** Do that. Check on you later.

It was sort of a silent understanding they had, the pragmatics of their conversations had grown to this over the weeks. They still maintained a certain distance and privacy but it helped to have someone faceless to talk to, someone who, without consequences, Erwin could confide everything in. He smiled weakly and reached for his book. He still hadn’t begun reading it, so maybe now he could finally focus well enough on it.

It was nine when his phone buzzed again, an hour had passed and he hadn’t read that much yet. Barely any messages- but fortunately the most important one was there.

 **Edelweiss1986:** How far along are you?

 **Mayerling1977:** Few pages :( Can't concentrate well enough.  
 ****

 **Edelweiss1986:** Maybe sleep. God knows you need it.

Erwin stared at the message for a bit longer.

 **Mayerling1977:** I’d rather talk to you a bit longer. If that’s okay.  
 ****

 **Edelweiss1986:** I might tap out earlier today if that’s okay. Phone is on loud so you can text me but just wanted to let you know.  
 ****

 **Mayerling1977:** Of course, if you need your sleep you need to rest. I won’t bother you then.  
 ****

 **Edelweiss1986:** You’re not a bother to me. Don’t you dare stay silent tonight while you need someone to talk to. Thought I was clear about that.  
 ****

 **Mayerling1977:** Thank you. Please do the same. Let me know if you need me.  
 ****

 **Edelweiss1986:** I will.

Erwin hesitated as he stared at the screen. He felt like he was about to overstep a boundary, but he needed to write it.

 **Mayerling1977:** Maybe, once this pandemic is over, we could meet up, have some coffee together.

He clutched his fist against his lips and waited in silence. One minute passed, two minutes passed. No typing. His heart hammered in his chest. Had he been too straightforward?

**Edelweiss1986 is typing**

Erwin pinched his lower lip as he picked at a piece of loose skin.

 **Edelweiss1986:** Sure. I don’t drink coffee though. Tea good too?

A sigh of relief passed Erwin’s lips as a sense of excitement washed over him.

 **Mayerling1977:** Whatever you like. I look forward to this. Thank you for listening to me. You help me a lot. Now go sleep.  
 ****

 **Edelweiss1986 :** I’m glad. You’ve helped me too. Look forward to it too. Goodnight.  
 ****

**-Edelweiss1986 is offline-**

Erwin chuckled to himself as he watched the screen one last time. He took his glasses off and installed his alarm. Although it was only a pinprick of happiness he felt, talking to Edelweiss had made him feel _something_ again. Maybe things would finally turn around soon, maybe feeling like this was temporary. With hope and an almost giddiness, Erwin turned off the lights and managed to actually sleep through the night for once.


End file.
